I was thinking about something I read by Chuck Klausterman the other day. He posed a question in his book IV: "think of the best decision you've ever made in your life. Now think of the worst decision you've ever made. Think about the motivations behind these decisions... how similar are they?"
This got me thinking. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life and it seems the common motivation was selfishness. I wanted what I wanted and took it. Or I wanted to do what I wanted to do, and did it. It was all about me. Then I thought about some of the great decisions I've made. Salvation for one. What was my motivation behind that decision? Selfishness was the answer again.
I chose this path out of self preservation and fear. But that leaves a problem. If the act of salvation is based upon the greatest cause of sin in the world... selfishness, then how do we reconcile that?
This is where I realized that the act of salvation isn't one that I can perform. It's God's grace that saves me. I do nothing.. in fact, if I actually do make a choice, it's based on a sinful nature and selfishness. Is there anything wrong with that? No. I don't think there is. It's the way we are wired. I just found it amazing how we can count on one thing as people... that we will do what is in our best interests, whether we know it or not. We are all wired this way. Even our most noble decisions and actions still tie back to what we know will be best for "us".
Anyone have thoughts on this? I'd be curious to hear them.
About Me
- phil
- Boise
- I'm grew up a PK (pastors kid), left my beliefs behind and became an agnostic, only to come back to the faith of my upbringing.
6 comments:
i like this post. i do think it's virtually impossible to separate ourselves completely from selfishness. since most of our decisions are based on things like..our experiences, our passions, our interests, etc.
that's the beauty of salvation. once we concede to the proposition of Christ...we really want Him to be our God..we are ready to believe that He is the only way to the Father and heaven...we are ready to receive His free gift...then that's where the miracle happens.
grace. saved by grace. it's ours for the taking. go ahead, be selfish about it...it's yours to receive. no perfect day can beat that. no big dream can compare. no paradise on earth will ever compete.
Christ takes our selfish motives and uses them to redefine us. "free from sin, a slave to righteousness". ahhhhh.
oh i've got some thoughts phil. heh.
i think acting with our own self interests in mind is the only honest way to live. what i mean is, since we're going to act in this way already, why not embrace it and work our way through life from that place? personally, the outworking of this philosophy has become a sense of pure pragmatism as the basis for all decisions. pragmatism in place of some more ethereal religion i suppose.
people can say what they want about altruistic motives... they may even fool themselves. but i don't think it jives with the day to day living we all do. the poor, frustrated, altruists, always seem to end up railing against the way things are, condemning the masses and their culture as evil, and trying to change the world's motives, rather than working within the obvious framework already in place and operating.
the reality on the ground is that everyone, including the altruists, is going to look out for number one. like you said, it's how we're wired. in my opinion, this reality more or less does away with your notions of "good" and "bad", or at least relegates them to the realm of religious stigmata, and replaces them with "is". i think once you come to grips with "is" you are able to make better and more clearly defined decisions based on whether "is" helps your cause or hurts it. suddenly it isn't "was this a good or bad decision?" (based on some arbitrary moral code or another), it's something more like "did this decision help me get what i want, where i want to be? or did it set me back?"
selfishness really just levels the playing field.
Great stuff guys. Trying to converse about these things can be difficult at best over the net. I'd rather do it over a beer. "En Vino Veritas"
I have to say that there seems to be similarity in both of your posts, just with different outcomes. It's so intrigueing to me how this happens. Maybe, there isn't just one "truth" to this. Maybe, subjectivity and motive plays a huge role in all of this. Thanks again. I look forward to these dialogues.
Wow. Good stuff. So many people I know (including me) really struggle with making decisions that everyone else will perceive as being motivated through selfishness as the church seems to decry selfish acts in lieu of self sacrificing. But that raises the question, isn't self sacrifice selfish at its core?
Sean I love your comment & the idea of embracing our own motivations honestly is a very liberating concept. I think the biggest challenge with most of us being able to do this is the effort it takes to really define "What do I want" and the fear of really looking into the heart of a man (my heart) to discover this. That also means if I am able to discover and define this for myself (rather than having someone else tell me what I "should" want), I am now accountable for the decisions that flow from that. But with this perspective, I can't imagine a more fulfilling way to live.
fancy blogger code names are confusing. with whom am i conversing?
first, i am indeed selfish, Phil. (as if you were surprised...)
i liked that you had the "selfish" blog posted after your reference to Godin's blog ("are you doing yourself justice?")... i just thought that was funny.
on the humor side, my dad once told me to hire people who claimed to be selfless, he would say, "i love selfless people, they will do anything i tell them."
on the selfishness side, though, i think that awsmith hits on the real underlying driver by relating "selfishness" to accountability vs. being a victim. embracing our motives and taking responsibility for the choices and decisions we make is key... yet most people walk thru life unconsciously bouncing off of things and blaming the universe for their lot.
unfortunately, the notion of "selfish" has garnered a negative connotation. i think that where i have the most conflict are more along the lines of 2 areas: first: self-centeredness in the other person (they would never acknowledge that a world view other than their own could possibly be) and, second: when i "set that person up to fail" by believing they will be different than who they have behaved themselves to be. i get back on track by remembering that people will be who they are.
i think this ties nicely to your reflection on Relationships as well. my healthiest and best relationships are where we both acknowledge our perspectives, our needs, speak honestly about all sides and take responsibility for the success or failure of that relationship together. the question to ask, that i've learned, is "am i winning in this relationship" (is it worth it and am i benefitting from it)...
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