I find it interesting the lengths people go to avoid conflict. As someone who has fought through insecurity, I've noticed just how many people there are that suffer from the the same thing. It seems as if most people are obsessed with how others view them. By obsessed I mean it controls most, if not all, of the decisions they make. Car companies are catching on to this. That's why you have commercials about how a car makes a "statement". The fashion industry has been doing this for years. Not only what type of clothes you wear but also the fabric softener you use all somehow say something about who you are. We have become defined by perceptions of people who make money off our insecurities.
I mention this because I've noticed the same trend in churches. Not only do they use similar tactics in marketing themselves to the communities around them, but also in the area of conflict avoidance. Too often churches are afraid of conflict.
"Why should we embrace conflict?" you may ask. Several reasons and thoughts prevail about this, however the most glaring is that healthy conflict leads to growth. Notice I said "healthy" conflict. Not all conflict is good, and it seems as though most churches tend to focus on the unhealthy type of conflict. The conflict that divides and splits churches and families. In fear, they try to avoid conflict as a whole.
This is problematic because one thing that any pastor will tell you is that conflict is unavoidable. It's not a matter of if, but when. Without stealing my friend's thunder about this topic, I wanted to start the dialogue concerning conflict. Should churches be a place where a healthy environment is created to help process and resolve conflict? Or should many of them continue to avoid it at all costs until they are forced to deal with conflict as a last resort? If environments should be created that help process and resolve healthy conflict... what would that look like?
For more of these questions and answers, I'll post the link to a blog on this subject matter in the near future. For now, please share your thoughts.
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This is my confessional, and you all are my priest.
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- I'm grew up a PK (pastors kid), left my beliefs behind and became an agnostic, only to come back to the faith of my upbringing.
2 comments:
i'd say that if a church was to seriously take the instructions recieved in timothy regarding confrontation and conflict, their growth may be stunted for a while because people don't like accountability. we believe societies hogwash about "it's none of my business. i'm just watching out for me" mentality. that could not be further from the truth of God's word. jesus established the church for growth, loving guidance, and accountability. it's a safe haven where we can be spun on to be a better christian, but part of that road includes a little discipline, through god himself and those he's put in authority over us. oh yeah...there's another big one. authority. it seems our generation doesn't think they have to submit to anyone. that is never a good situation for any type of church, organization, business, or relationship for that matter.
so yes, lack of healthy conflict is a sure fire way to the disolving of good, deep rooted, doctrinally sound church and in the mean time it will create what i like to call the "cool" church. the one where everyone can come and go, without alot of investment or accountability (i like that word) and just live their stagnent, non-supernatural, non-holy spirit filled, non-powerful lives and they'll die full of disappointment and emptiness. oh yeah. sounds like fun. sign me up! :O) (catch the sarcasm?)
and that's all i have to say about that!
i'll stop now. this IS your post not mine....love ya bro and good topic.
Thanks for your thoughts. I agree with what you're saying and I think that the balance between authority and grace is one that isn't easy to walk. Neither one takes away from the other but each one puts us in a different mindset, depending on ones upbringing. Thanks again for sharing. I look forward to the continued dialogues.
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